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Some people just hate Mormon people. Or they love hating on Mormons like it's fun! One day while I was shopping at H&M I heard the words, "YUCK THATS SOO MORMON"! Discreetly I whipped my hair around to see them looking at the ugliest dress created. I browsed near them. I willed them: Look! Look at me you clueless ogre! One of them shrieked and began to shower me with compliments! From my head to my toe she loved me entire outfit/style.  As I struck a pose for the two ogres to behold I left them with the mantra: Modest is hottest. Modest is hottest. To find a way between style and modesty. I did not disclose that they loved Mormon hotness.

People have always used the white history of the LDS Church against us. They actually don't want to acknowledge the diversity. Polynesians have been a part of church history since 1800's. Recently the 12 apostles called a Brazilian and a Chinese apostle. I made a witty comment on a news outlet. TO THE HATERS WHO CLAIMED WE ARE RUN BY THE MAN MEET ELDER GONG AND ELDER SOARES DIVERSITY BABY*drops microphone. I should not comment on these outlets. I am too sensitive when people are mean. People called me several combinations of OFF WHITE WHORE! I was so shocked that I deleted my comment. The same anti racist people made racist remarks toward me. No one thinks of themselves as bad people. I forgive the internet trolls immediately.

In Salt Lake County Utah metro area there are 5 LDS temples I can visit within 1 hour drive. Here we are encouraged to go as much as we can (weekly). In Denali the neared LDS temple is 4 hours away in Anchorage and 8 hour round trip. I am never going to take the temple for granted again. Going to the temple entails an entire day of devotion. I was advised to not expect to go more than monthly.

I can handle more than I ever imagined. I was married young and became single again in my 30's. And now I survive dating older LDS (Mormon) guys. I had a boyfriend who was supposed to be a fiancé but he has a new girlfriend. They are in the same ward or church congregation as I am. They are now enrolled in the same relationship class that we were enrolled in! I discovered they changed my name for her name. This class usually is a prelude to a quick engagement before temple marriage.

I have a crush on our Ward chorister. He is everything that I would like in a man physically. He has dark curly/wavy hair, brown mysterious and mischievous eyes, and a beard. I like being tickled by a beard and petting my man. He truly is a gift because in social situations he always is around. He is funny and musically entertaining. However I lose my cool when he is around. I become a bag of fluff and bubbles. At the dance I got down with him a wee freaky and gave him an honest accidental dick slap with my right and then my left hands. A couple of days after I had a concussion we almost kissed but I forgot what was happening and ruined the moment. I called him Daddy. I can still feel his PP in my hands. I am not sure why he still talks with me. In another life I would be his girl. But instead I am going to Alaska for an adventure.

I am hoping this could lead into more of a career of some sort. Let me get through one adventure before I plan another. I know that if God willing I will go where I am guided. The spirit definitely has led into some great things. I inqured about Denali activities and there are enough to keep me busy all season long. I need to buy a Go Pro asap!! I am striving to look at this summer as a gift. It will be a great opportunity to do as a prelude to being married in the future. I want to change as a woman. I want to take a break from The Sex in The Salt Lake City show.I want to develop as my own woman without regard to future marriage.

The only thing I have ever truly wanted to be in my life is a wife and to be married. Being married young was a validation. Becoming single in my thirties has been fun. At first I was afraid no one would want me but that has not been the case. I am sexually viable for men in their 20-70's. Its been quite the adventure dating. In some ways I am boy crazy because of arrested development. Dating and Romance has become the soul purpose of my life. I am dating as much as I can so I can have a clear look into what I truly want in a man. I need to relax and enjoy. Maybe learn how to be a friend to men. That is why my Alaskan summer is going to be a treasure in my life. I want to have these experiences for me. I want to learn and grow as a human being. I want to get outside of my comfort zone. The unknown starts from the time I drive toward the Alaskan/Canadian border. I am excited for who I will be at the end of this experience. This summer I want to take advantage to put the breaks on dating. I can release my disappointment for the summer. I want to learn to be my own lady but I don't want to be an OLD MAID! I would be so sad if my theme song is the Golden Girls.

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